so explain again why im purple
no
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
