CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
