Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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