Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
