I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
