I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
