It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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