you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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