Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
