i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
