Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
