I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
