Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
