they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
