you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
