hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
