listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
