If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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