hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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