please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm too high and old for this...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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