yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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