Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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