My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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