Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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