Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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