It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
