it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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