from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
