Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
