Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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