I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
