i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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