Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
