He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
