You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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