We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
