Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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