my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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