I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
