So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
