I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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