somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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