he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
