i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
