You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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