Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize