One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
