That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A+ Viking dick
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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