When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
