So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
